I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
