Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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