Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
