Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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