I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
