3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
