i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
