Jerry, you need to find god
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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