im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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