Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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