This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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