Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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