I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
