I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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