I wanna bring you to show and tell
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
