you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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