I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
