make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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