Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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