the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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