marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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