hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize