You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
