hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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