Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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