We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
where does the pee come out of this thing
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
