would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
