Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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