I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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