he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
