whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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