Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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