Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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