i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
