my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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