In the future we'll all be gay
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
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I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
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Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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