I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
pray to the hookup gods
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
