I just made out with a guy for $7.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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