the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
