I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize