you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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