I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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