I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
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