i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My dick has a subreddit
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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