He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
