She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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