Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
