Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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