ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
