how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
