why didn't you poke me back
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
