My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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