so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
