Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
