Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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