I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
