Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize