Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
